The stuff I cared so much about six months ago just doesn’t seem that important anymore.’ ‘I know exactly what you mean. I changed a lot, too, after I met Jeff. He makes you question the reasons you do things.’ ‘I know exactly what you mean. He acts strange sometimes and you come to find out he’s actually doing it for a reason.’ ‘And he’s so supportive,’ said Jen. Would that it were my parents saying this. ‘Yeah, but the best thing, and maybe the worst, well, one of the best, I don’t know. Anyway, he believes in me, more than I believe in myself. It’s scary. ‘I feel like I have to work to make sure I don’t let him down. But I know that even if I do, he’ll keep believing in me.’ ‘Wow.’ I knew that tone, it was awe. ‘Do you want to get some coffee and talk? My treat,’ I said. ‘Who are you and what have you done with Ashley Fine?’ We had engaged in banter before, but this was a genuinely friendly exchange. I was drawn to her. I had been doing that a lot lately: Sunny, Sandy, Harri, Sam.. She had long straight brown hair, and a pretty facethat seemed slightly angelic, and out of place in this sordid scenario. Shehad small but perky breasts, and an appealing but unexceptional ass. She wasshaved because, as she put it, "guys prefer that don't they?" She claimed thatshe was the least attractive girl of the eight, and had I considered this objectivelyI might have seen some truth in that, but my judgement was clouded by how wellwe got on. Where the other girls kept to themselves during the day and feltcliquey, leaving me as an outsider, Joni spent a lot of time with me. We wouldtalk about anything, and would always have a laugh. This is not chronologically in the right place, since she asked after thecontest that I have yet to describe, but Joni once asked me which girls I foundattractive, and which I would have if I chose to, excluding herself. I admittedthat I would have Tamsin or Chloe. I decided not to mention that I would gladlyhave Lila if she instigated it, but that.
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